Adult offspring of lesbian parents reflect on having been donor conceived
Adult children of lesbian parents largely positive about donor conception, though half report challenges related to unknown donor information and health history (Rothblum, 2024)
Rothblum, E. D., Bos, H. M. W., Koh, A. S., Carone, N., & Gartrell, N. K. (2024). Adult offspring of lesbian parents reflect on having been donor conceived: Feelings about their sperm donor and donor siblings. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice. Advance online publication. https://dx.doi.org/10.1037/cfp0000256
Geographic Region: United States
Research Question: How do adult offspring of lesbian parents conceived via donor insemination (DI) reflect on their conception, sperm donor, and donor siblings?
Methods: This is a qualitative descriptive study drawing on Wave 7 data from the U.S. National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS), the longest prospective study of offspring conceived by donor insemination to lesbian parents, which began in 1986. Wave 7 data were collected between March 2021 and November 2022. Participants completed a survey that included a range of standardized quantitative subscales (covering well-being, mental health, social support, discrimination, and more) alongside six open-ended qualitative items focused specifically on donor insemination experiences.
Sample: 75 adult offspring (37 female, 36 male, 2 gender nonbinary) between the ages of 30 and 33. The sample was overwhelmingly White (91%), had high educational attainment (51% had bachelor’s degree or registered nurse credential, 40% had completed some graduate study or held a graduate degree). Most identified as heterosexual (68%), with 28% identifying as bisexual or another non-monosexual identity, and 4% as lesbian or gay. Regarding donor type: 32% (n=24) had known their donor’s identity since childhood; 36% (n=27) had “anonymous” donors (of whom 74% remained unknown, 26% had made contact via registry); and 32% (n=24) had open-identity donors (of whom 38% had made contact since age 18, 63% had not). By Wave 7, approximately half of offspring had located donor siblings. The NLLFS began recruiting lesbian mothers in 1986 by posting flyers and making announcements at lesbian events, community newspapers, and women’s bookstores in three cities.
Key Findings:
When asked to describe their feelings about being donor conceived: 49% of responses were positive, 23% were mixed, 22% were neutral or never thought about it, and 5.5% were negative. Positive responses most commonly centered on gratitude for existing, for having been wanted, and for the technology that made their birth to lesbian parents possible. Neutral responses emphasized that donor conception was simply a fact of life. Mixed responses often acknowledged gratitude alongside grief or unresolved questions about the donor.
When asked what made offspring happiest about being donor conceived: 50% said DI allowed them or their family to exist; 19.5% mentioned having connections to donor father, donor siblings, or extended family; 7% said DI made them open to social justice; 23% were neutral, unsure, or hadn't experienced happiness due to DI.
When asked about the most challenging aspects of being donor conceived: 47% mentioned challenges like not knowing one’s full medical history, not knowing what the donor looks like, and uncertainty about how to think about the donor relationally; 41% described challenges in childhood, like feeling different, explaining family structure, bullying related to having lesbian parents; 14% said nothing was challenging or they hadn't thought about it.
When asked about how being donor conceived had affected their views on being a gamete donor themselves: 45% had positive views (willing to donate); 37% had negative views (would not donate); 18% were neutral, unsure, or never considered it.
53% of offspring (n=40) had located donor siblings by Wave 7. Among those who had located siblings, responses ranged from genuinely meaningful ongoing relationships to complete indifference to mild discomfort.
73% of respondents said being donor conceived had influenced their concept of family. Among those who answered yes, two major themes emerged: (1) it was difficult to imagine alternatives; and (2) it broadened their understanding of what family can mean.
Limitations: The sample is overwhelmingly homogeneous (race, education, age of disclosure, family structure), so findings cannot be generalized to more diverse populations.
Applications: The diversity of responses in this sample—from deep gratitude to neutrality to genuine grief—validates the wide range of ways people feel about donor conception. There is no single correct way to feel.
Funding Source: Not specified
Lead Author: Esther D. Rothblum is Professor Emerita of Women's Studies at San Diego State University, where she was on faculty at the oldest Women's Studies department in the United States; she is a clinical psychologist by training (Ph.D., Rutgers University) whose research has focused on LGBT relationships and mental health, and the stigma of weight, and who served for 26 years as editor of the Journal of Lesbian Studies. No connection to donor conception was disclosed.
Regulatory Context:
There are no comprehensive federal laws regulating gamete donation or donor conception in the U.S. The process is largely self-regulated by the fertility industry.
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) does have some oversight, primarily related to screening and testing of donors for infectious diseases.
The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) provides ethical guidelines and recommendations for gamete donation practices. However, these are not legally binding.
There are no legal limits on compensation for donors. A 2011 court ruling (Kamakahi v. ASRM) determined that price caps on donor compensation violate antitrust laws.
ASRM recommends a minimum age of 21 for gamete donors, but this is not legally mandated.
The U.S. does not have laws prohibiting anonymous donation.
Some states have enacted their own laws regarding aspects of assisted reproduction, but these vary widely.
Laws regarding the legal status of donors and intended parents can vary by state.
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