Egg donors navigate complex boundaries in recipient relationships
Extended families? Contact expectations and experiences of egg donors donating to previously unknown recipients (Goedeke, 2023)
Goedeke, S., Gamble, H., & Thurlow, R. (2023). Extended families? Contact expectations and experiences of egg donors donating to previously unknown recipients. Human fertility (Cambridge, England), 26(6), 1519–1529. https://doi.org/10.1080/14647273.2023.2292592
Geographic Region: New Zealand
Research Question: What are egg donors' expectations and experiences of information exchange and contact with previously unknown recipients and donor-conceived children in New Zealand's identity-release donation system?
Design: Qualitative interview study conducted between July 2019 - January 2020. Semi-structured interviews exploring motivations, experiences during donation, expectations after donation, and interactions with offspring/recipients. Thematic analysis using Braun and Clarke's approach.
Sample: 21 egg donors who donated to previously unknown recipients. All identified as New Zealand European. 20 of 21 participants had met recipients before donation. 18 had their own children. Total of 40 donations across the 21 donors.
Key Findings:
Donors were very clear that they were not the "mothers" of the children born from their eggs, but they still felt a meaningful connection because of the genetic link. As one donor explained, "It's my egg, but it's not my child."
Many donors thought of themselves like extended family members - similar to an aunt or distant relative. This helped them make sense of their unique role.
Most donors wanted to stay informed about how the children were doing, but they were very careful not to overstep boundaries with the parents. As one participant said, "I don't want to step on toes."
Donors positioned themselves as being "on standby" - meaning they were available if the child or family wanted contact or information, but they let the parents take the lead.
The amount of contact varied widely. Some donors just wanted occasional updates or photos. Others had regular in-person contact, like attending birthdays. A few developed close relationships where their families spent time together.
Many donors felt frustrated that they had very limited legal rights to information about the children. One donor explained she didn't realize "how few rights I actually had to information until we sat down for counseling."
Meeting the recipient parents face-to-face before donation helped set expectations, but some donors still struggled with uncertainty about their role.
Most donors thought it was important for children to have some information about their origins before reaching adulthood, rather than it coming as a surprise later.
Limitations: Self-selecting sample recruited through clinics/patient organizations. Only included donors who donated to unknown recipients.
Applications: Donors and parents should talk about expectations before donation happens and make clear agreements about sharing information and staying in touch. Offer counseling to help everyone manage relationships and boundaries
Funding Source: Not explicitly stated
Lead Author: Sonja Goedeke is affiliated with the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience, School of Clinical Sciences, Auckland University of Technology, New Zealand.
Regulatory Context:
New Zealand Human Assisted Reproductive Technology (HART) Act 2004 specifies right of donor-conceived individuals to access identifying donor information at age 18.
Mandatory register for donations since August 2005, but no requirement for disclosure to offspring.
Unique provision allowing pre-donation meetings between donors and recipients.