Survey of 422 donor-conceived adults reveals impact of timing and intentionality of disclosure

Secrets and lies and donor conceptions: What donor-conceived individuals feel about their disclosure/discovery experience. (Applegarth, 2025)

Applegarth, L. D., Kaufman, N. L., Thomas, C., Beroukhim, G., Tsai, S., & Joseph-Sohan, M. (2025). Secrets and lies and donor conceptions: What donor-conceived individuals feel about their disclosure/discovery experience. Human Reproduction. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1093/humrep/deaf215

Geographic Region: United States, Canada, United Kingdom, Belgium, Germany, the Netherlands, China, and Australia.

Research Question: What are the satisfaction levels of adult donor-conceived individuals concerning the method, timing, and circumstances surrounding the disclosure or discovery of their conception?

Design: Cross-sectional survey-based cohort study conducted from 2022 to 2023 using a 25-item online questionnaire. The survey was distributed through various online platforms, including Reddit, Facebook, donor conception organizations, and mental health professional group forums. Data collection included demographic information and participants’ thoughts and feelings about their disclosure or discovery experiences through multiple-choice questions. Respondents were provided an optional space to share additional thoughts in their own words. Statistical analyses included descriptive statistics, chi-squared tests to examine associations, and multivariable logistic regression modeling to evaluate the relationships.

Sample: 422 donor-conceived people with an age range of 18-77 years (median age of 32 years). The sample was predominantly white (94%) and 79% were female. The vast majority (87%) were conceived via sperm donation, while 11% were conceived via egg donation and 2% via both egg and sperm donation. Regarding family composition at birth, 84% of respondents came from two-parent heterosexual families, 6% from two-parent same-sex families, and 9% from single-parent families. Of all respondents, 36% learned about their donor conception at an early age (birth to 15 years), while 64% learned late (16 years or older). When looking at family structures, of the 66 respondents raised in same-sex, single-parent families, or other family structures, 92% reported learning of their donor origins early (birth to 15 years). Of the 352 respondents raised in two-parent heterosexual families, 75% learned at a later age (16 years or older).

Key Findings

• Among those who found out before age 16, about two-thirds felt satisfied or neutral. Among those who found out at 16 or older, about two-thirds felt dissatisfied about how it happened. This finding was statistically significant.

• Among people who found out by accident, nearly three-quarters were dissatisfied about how it happened. Among those who were told on purpose, more than half felt satisfied or neutral. This finding was statistically significant.

• Disclosure from birth to age 7 was associated with the highest satisfaction levels; disclosure between ages 16 and 25 was associated with the lowest satisfaction levels.

• Controlling for other factors, people who found out early were almost 4 times more likely to report feeling neutral or satisfied compared to those who found out late. Separately, those who were told intentionally were almost 4 times more likely to report feeling neutral or satisfied compared to those who found out accidentally.

• Parents made almost all intentional disclosures (91%), while most accidental discoveries (86%) came from other family members or DNA testing.

• The emotional reactions differed dramatically by experience. People who discovered late and accidentally reported the highest levels of difficult emotions: nearly all felt shock (94%), and most felt confusion (77%), sadness (66%), and betrayal (66%). People told early and intentionally reported very different feelings: more than half felt neutral (57%), and nearly one-third felt special (29%) or positive (22%).

• Even when people learned late, being told intentionally by parents made a difference. Among late learners, 21% who were told intentionally felt satisfied, compared to only 7% who discovered accidentally.

• Almost all respondents (92%) believed donor-conceived people should have access to their donor’s identity by age 18, with many saying they should have access earlier.

• People conceived through egg donation learned earlier than those conceived through sperm donation. Half of egg donor-conceived people learned before age 16, compared to only one-third of sperm donor-conceived people. However, satisfaction levels were the same regardless of whether someone was conceived through egg or sperm donation.

Limitations: There’s a significant lack of ethnic diversity among survey respondents, limiting the generalizability of the results. The study design began five years ago, and language preferences regarding donor conception terminology have evolved significantly during this period. Current terminology debates were not fully addressed in the survey instrument, which may not reflect contemporary preferences of donor-conceived people for describing relationships with donors and genetic connections.

Applications: This research validates the varied experiences of donor-conceived people. For parents using or considering donor conception, this study provides strong evidence that early intentional disclosure is associated with higher satisfaction among donor-conceived offspring. For parents who have postponed disclosure, the findings indicate that intentional disclosure, even if delayed, is preferable to inadvertent discovery. For policymakers and lawmakers, the near-universal support for donor identity availability by age 18 provides evidence for policies ending anonymous donation.

Funding Source: No funding was received for this study.

Lead Author: Linda D. Applegarth is a psychologist and the Director of Psychological Services at the Ronald O. Perelman and Claudia Cohen Center for Reproductive Medicine at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York. Dr. Applegarth has extensive clinical and research experience in reproductive mental health, including psychological aspects of donor conception, disclosure counseling, and family-building decision-making. No personal link to donor conception was disclosed.

Regulatory Context: Donor conception regulations vary globally.

Related Posts

• An exploration of psychological, emotional and social wellbeing among donor conceived young adults in the UK (Ridley-Jones, 2024)

• Beliefs about genetics influence how people respond to unexpected donor connections through DNA testing (Nordqvist, 2025)

• Family type shapes donor-conceived adults’ views on anonymity (Casteels, 2024)