Survey of 422 donor-conceived adults reveals impact of timing and intentionality of disclosure

Secrets and lies and donor conceptions: What donor-conceived individuals feel about their disclosure/discovery experience. (Applegarth, 2025)

Applegarth, L. D., Kaufman, N. L., Thomas, C., Beroukhim, G., Tsai, S., & Joseph-Sohan, M. (2025). Secrets and lies and donor conceptions: What donor-conceived individuals feel about their disclosure/discovery experience. Human Reproduction. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1093/humrep/deaf215

Geographic Region: United States, Canada, United Kingdom, Belgium, Germany, the Netherlands, China, and Australia.

Research Question: What are the satisfaction levels of adult donor-conceived individuals concerning the method, timing, and circumstances surrounding the disclosure or discovery of their conception?

Design: Cross-sectional survey-based cohort study conducted from 2022 to 2023 using a 25-item online questionnaire. The survey was distributed through various online platforms, including Reddit, Facebook, donor conception organizations, and mental health professional group forums. Data collection included demographic information and participants’ thoughts and feelings about their disclosure or discovery experiences through multiple-choice questions. Respondents were provided an optional space to share additional thoughts in their own words. Statistical analyses included descriptive statistics, chi-squared tests to examine associations, and multivariable logistic regression modeling to evaluate the relationships.

Sample: 546 people opened the survey, with 530 qualifying to complete it as donor-conceived people, and 422 fully completed the survey (80% completion rate). The age range of respondents was 18-77 years, with a median age of 32 years. The sample was predominantly Caucasian (94%). The vast majority (87%) were conceived via sperm donation, while 11% were conceived via egg donation and 2% via both egg and sperm donation. Regarding family composition at birth, 352 respondents (84%) came from two-parent heterosexual families, 23 (6%) from two-parent same-sex families, and 38 (9%) from single-parent families. Regarding sex assigned at birth, 79% were female and 21% were male.

Key Findings

• Regarding disclosure timing, 36% learned about their donor conception at an early age (birth to 15 years), while 64% learned late (16 years or older).

• Of the 66 respondents raised in same-sex, single-parent families, or other family structures, 92% reported learning early of their donor origins, contrasting with the 352 respondents raised in two-parent heterosexual families, where 75% learned at a later age (after 15 years).

• People who were told early and intentionally about their donor conception were more than three times as likely to feel satisfied with how they learned, compared to those who found out late or accidentally.

• How people learned mattered greatly. Nearly three-quarters of people who discovered accidentally felt dissatisfied, while more than half of those told intentionally at any age felt satisfied or neutral.

• Parents made almost all intentional disclosures (91%), while most accidental discoveries (86%) came from other family members or DNA testing.

• Disclosure from birth to 7 years was associated with the highest satisfaction levels, while disclosure at 16-25 years was associated with the lowest satisfaction levels.

• The emotional reactions differed dramatically by experience. People who discovered late and accidentally reported the highest levels of difficult emotions: nearly all felt shock (94%), and most felt confusion (77%), sadness (66%), and betrayal (66%). People told early and intentionally reported very different feelings: more than half felt neutral (57%), and nearly one-third felt special (29%) or positive (22%).

• Even when people learned late, being told intentionally by parents made a difference. Among late learners, 21% who were told intentionally felt satisfied, compared to only 7% who discovered accidentally.

• Almost all respondents (92%) believed donor-conceived people should have access to their donor’s identity by age 18, with many saying they should have access even earlier.

• People conceived through egg donation learned earlier than those conceived through sperm donation. Half of egg donor-conceived people learned before age 16, compared to only one-third of sperm donor-conceived people. However, satisfaction levels were the same regardless of whether someone was conceived through egg or sperm donation.

Limitations: There’s a significant lack of ethnic diversity among survey respondents, limiting the generalizability of the results. The study design began five years ago, and language preferences regarding donor conception terminology have evolved significantly during this period. Current terminology debates were not fully addressed in the survey instrument, which may not reflect contemporary preferences of donor-conceived people for describing relationships with donors and genetic connections.

Applications: This research validates the varied experiences of donor-conceived people. For parents using or considering donor conception, this study provides strong evidence that early intentional disclosure is associated with significantly higher satisfaction among donor-conceived offspring. Parents should be informed that withholding information about donor conception creates risks of inadvertent discovery, particularly in the era of commercial DNA testing, and that late discovery is associated with feelings of betrayal, shock, and dissatisfaction. Even for parents of older children who have postponed disclosure, the findings indicate that intentional disclosure, even if delayed, is preferable to inadvertent discovery. Mental health professionals should be prepared to support donor-conceived people who discover their origins late or inadvertently, recognizing that feelings of betrayal, confusion, and identity disruption are common responses that require processing. For policymakers and lawmakers, the near-universal support for donor identity availability by age 18 provides evidence for policies ending anonymous donation.

Funding Source: No funding was received for this study.

Lead Author: Linda D. Applegarth is a psychologist and the Director of Psychological Services at the Ronald O. Perelman and Claudia Cohen Center for Reproductive Medicine at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York. Dr. Applegarth has extensive clinical and research experience in reproductive mental health, including psychological aspects of donor conception, disclosure counseling, and family-building decision-making. No personal link to donor conception was disclosed.

Regulatory Context: Donor conception regulations vary globally.

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